Before Child and After Child
Someone asked me if I missed the life I had before I had a child.
Of course life has changed somewhat. For me personally, It doesn’t mean I miss life before child at all. In fact, I am super lucky. For now, I seem to have a perfect balance.
My relationship with my body has changed. It is possible that this is the biggest change of all. Not in a massive weight gain way. I weigh less than I did before I became pregnant. But I now have stretch marks. Well actually, I always had some stretch marks but I have more now and they are a different kind I think.
I use bio oil to fade them but in reality I have always had trouble with my skin. The slightest bit of product, sun or otherwise, it struggles. My skin has always marked easily. At the end of the day, we all have something we would change about ourselves. I was always mentally prepared for stretch marks when the time came to have a child, I knew it would be this way. And that is okay.
I also now have a nice scar across the bottom of my stomach. This honestly doesn’t bother me at all. To be honest, I wouldn’t change this. I love what that scar gave me.
My boobs have shrunk, although for me, this is a good thing. I have always wanted slightly smaller boobs.
My hair is growing new bits here and there and I don’t have bags of time to get ready anymore. I never was one to take ages though, wack a bit of make up on. Leave my hair, stick a few grips in or just shove it up. That hasn’t really changed. I’m not big on fashion and appearance, as long as I am happy with myself and I’m comfortable then that’s really all that matters too me. Probably a good job now.
I no longer go into a clothes shop and head straight for the women’s bit. I am first in the children’s bit because I would rather spend money on Imogen than on myself. Obviously I head to women’s bit after but i find myself putting bits for me back and buying more for Immy.
I also end up preparing for an outting between an hour to half an hour before I actually need to leave. I can’t just get up and go anymore. I have to pack; bottles, formula, dummies, spare clothing. Do I have enough nappies for where I am going? Musn’t forget; wetwipes, cream, muslins, jackets and the pushchair. I mean who really knows. It is like going away for a long weekend.
It is difficult. It is so true when they say nothing can prepare you. No more care free lifestyle. Planning ahead and putting the little one first is how it works now. Each stage seems to have it’s own hurdles to jump. Whether that is the first few days of adapting to your baby, I mean I now see why people say that first night after you have brought your baby home is one of the hardest of them all. There is colic if your baby suffers from that. Immunisations. Teething. Weaning. There is always something. But so worth it.
Other than my body, the biggest change for me is my outlook on the world. People are so strong minded, which is no downfall. Without offense, there is no way of understanding how difficult yet amazing having a child is until you have had one yourself. In the same sense, I no longer care what anyone else thinks of me and my family because those people don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.
No Big Change Needed
Dan and I laugh just as much as we did before, we do all the things we want to do still. It just means there is a little someone joining us. We are fortunate enough to not have any financial stresses as such meaning we can go for lovely days out and treat ourselves every now and then. We see each other the same amount as before, after work and weekends.
Yeah, we bicker. But we always did. Silly things that were once ‘your towel’s still on the bed!’ has now become ‘Why didn’t you check how many nappies were in the bag?’.
We cook dinner together of an evening, sit down eat it. Watch some TV, wash up together and go to bed. This has always been our life. Unless there is an occasion, home is where we are happiest. We often wonder if we are boring. But actually, we are so content with life that we feel no need to be doing this and that. All we need is each other to have a bit of fun and enjoy our days.
I have the day to spend with a perfect little human who quickly became my best friend. I still see most of my friends as much as I did before. We go on walks, drink copious amounts of tea and go places like Monkey World. I mean what else would you want to do with your friends, these days.
I have still been to get my nails done, luckily one of my bestfriends does them and same with hair. My mum is home so she is usually available to have Immy for a few hours. Although I am not one to take advantage of this. Even though I know Imogen is 100% fine with my mum, I cannot wait to get home to her.
Any change is beyond worth it for this pure, innocent, loving baby we have been lucky enough to have in our lives. The truth is, this all I have ever wanted in life. It is so perfect, I still struggle to get my head around it. I would trade it in a heartbeat for nights out and lay ins.
The first smiles, cuddles, bottom lips are more worth it than you can ever even imagine. The times you feed her and she is looking up at you with her big beautiful blue eyes. You can feel how strong the bond is and there really is no describing it. Being the ones who see her character develop, watch her grow is the most amazing thing.
So Saturday mornings still consist of poo and the faint smell of sick but this is no longer because of a night out before, it is because we have baby. And this is okay. Life really is great.
Thank you for reading…Anna xx