Dear Me, From Your Pre-Baby Self
I am speaking as your pre-baby self.
I hope you realise what a major 4 months you have made it through. We tend to overlook the changes made to every aspect of our lives once you become a parent. As a mum, you give up the right to live our lives as a care free, selfish way. Not at all that we all have selfish personalities, but in the sense that you no longer come first. No matter what the situation is, no matter how old you become, you now put yourself last.
Nothing can prepare you for this. As individuals we take life for granted. We are all guilty of it and we all remind ourselves not too. But when it comes down too it, we are only human. We are lucky enough to live in a world where having fresh milk in the fridge is just every day normality, well most days anyway!
Now you have a baby, you can see so clearly what you once had. The freedom to walk out the door without second guessing. Planning days/nights with family and friends and not double checking times and dates. Going to bed on a Friday night and waking up of your own accord, whether it is 7am or 11am, waking up naturally is a wonderful thing. Booking holidays and buying clothes.
Even as your pre-baby self, I have no doubt whatsoever that you personally, would give all of that up in a heartbeat for your child. But whether you are a party animal, a free spirit or a home bird. We all have a pang for a life with no ties.
You are about to embark on a journey so god damn tough. You will second guess your instincts. Be scared of the future. Think to yourself, I don’t know what to do and of course, feel a new sense of love. You are expected to adapt to these in no time at all, but forgive yourself if you do not. Having a baby means getting to know them, even though they have been living within you for the best part of a year, you have so much to learn about them. Just as they have to learn about you.
It is a bond that we all pray comes naturally and in most cases it does. But this does not mean it is in anyway easy. They say ‘the best things in life are things you have to work hard for’. This cannot be more true. Becoming a mother is indescribable. Something clicks and all of a sudden you would do anything in this world to protect and care for your baby which is half you and half the person you love.
You have hurdles to jump, some easier than others. Just remember to give yourself a break. These little humans are unpredictable and always changing. Some things you expected to work for you may not. Other families may look like they have it down one hundred percent, but remember that behind closed doors that family may be looking at you and thinking the same thing.
You are young, mistakes will be made and changes will overwhelm you. You must remember to always let help be given. Heading out for an hour, or even just into a different room when some one offers to have the baby will make the world of difference in those early days.
Be kind to your body, it has done something beautiful. Forgive it for changing and learn to love it in it’s new form. Don’t blame it for things that didn’t go the textbook way. See it now as your child’s first home and now your child’s safe place and comfort blanket. Allow your other half to love it as he did before, for all you know, to him you may be just as beautiful as before, if not more.
Focus on the good times because they are so precious. You are the right mum for the baby you have been given and she will be more patient than you think. Listen to yourself because you will always nearly be right! Enjoy every second you get with your baby because it’s so true when they say ‘it goes so fast’.
You are doing much better than you think. You are a much harder critic on yourself than you would be on anyone else. Remember every now and then. You are entitled to a little bit of a break. When you have a bit of time to yourself, you are allowed to be your old self. You are still the same person. Look after yourself too.
Thank you for reading…Anna xx
I would just like to say from the here and now me, if you are a new mum, a mum of multiple who just needs reminding or an expectant mum take all this in because it is all so important. Happy, healthy you means happy healthy baby. It is such a magical time but there is so much people don’t tell you about and some stuff that you can’t be warned about. Take it all in your stride and go easy on yourself.
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