Am I Ready?
Now that I am a proud mum of one. I often get asked the question…‘how will I know when I’m ready to have a baby?’
Firstly, let me just say, the fact that I have a child in no way means I was ready. It happened and it is bloody brilliant but please don’t assume I was clued up. Do as I say not as I do, I think is what I was told as a child.
On the other hand, unless you are a miracle species, then I don’t think you are EVER ready for a baby. Take me for instance, always knew I wanted children. In fact ask the 5 year ago version of me and I would of said ‘I’ll have 10‘. I work with children…babies in fact! But no matter how much you want it or how ready you think you are, it’s probably going to be a bit of a shock to the system.
I can tell you now, the stories your told and the advice your given is great. But it doesn’t really touch the sides of what is to come. I was aware that I would get far less sleep and that I would be dealing with poo on a daily basis. But I wasn’t prepared for the nights we spent driving around in the car just for some quiet. I also wasn’t prepared for the endless washing due to shit explosives that your baby sets off every now and then.
A baby really isn’t the way to fix a relationship or make it stronger. You have to be made of strong stuff. It might even be one of the toughest things a relationship can go through. You pick at each other all the time in those first few weeks, mixed with extreme tiredness and crazy hormone levels, it can be tricky. All three of you are now trying to adapt to this new life. I remember getting frustrated with Dan purely because I missed him…even though he was right there!
Really, all that you can take into consideration is how willing you are to give up the life you currently lead. Your life will still be yours, but it will change completely. We all make these sacrifices when we have children.
For now the days of long, pampering baths are gone. I shaved my noonie so fast the other morning I pretty much sliced it into quarters. Leg shaving is a once a week occurrence (maybe fortnightly if it’s not sunny). Hair and make up is now done in about 5 minutes…I mean fuck, the other day I did a full face and forgot the mascara! Got home after being out all day, looked at myself and said ‘what the hell have you become’. I go out without looking in the mirror in clothes that I’ve had since I was about 16…safe to say my body has changed since then and the clothes don’t fit so well anymore.
Basically, what I’m trying to say is…you could have all the years of life experience behind you, tons of money in the bank and two houses paid for outright and actually looking after a baby 24/7 is still as hard as it is for those who don’t have all that. No matter how much you organise and prepare your life…it’s probably not going to make that much difference.
So if your umm’ing’ and ahhh’ing’ then take all of the above into consideration and either take it off and get it on or avoid your partner under all circumstances. Babies are for life, not for 16-18 years. As long as you’ve got a whole lot of love to give and a lovely network of people around you for moral support then, you will be okay. But don’t wait until your ‘ready’, because that day might never come!
Thanks for reading…Anna xx