Self Service Mums
You are not alone.
The glare from the impatient man behind you. You feel the burn in the back of your head as you scan your 5th from last item, and stop shortly, to insert your child’s fallen dummy. How dare you?
It’s as though self service means you must make it through in 1 minute 37 seconds and NO MORE. When in reality you are held up by some mystery fucking item that you never even scanned. Kid or no kid.
You beat the 18 year old whose just popped in too buy her peach schnaps for her night on the town to the checkout. She rolls her eyes as if your going to take an hour because you have a baby with you.
Just to piss them all of that little bit more…every time a store assistant comes to wave their magic lanyard because you selected ‘skip bagging’ on an item. They stop and chat with you and coo at your baby for a second before they move on allowing you to scan my next item.
By this point, you’re sweating, baby is crying and most likely done a poo. The last item has no barcode and the till hasn’t given me my 3 for £10 deal. Fuck the deal, just get me to the payment so I can get out of here.
The sympathy smiles from other mums. GOD SEND. I feel like a weight has been lifted if I look behind and I look back and see the reassuring ‘you got this’ smile from a fellow mama.
Whats equally awkward is watching another mum go through a similar situation. Your baby is currently asleep or smiling away and theirs is having a full blown meltdown at till number 4. There is not one store assistant in sight who can shut the annoying voice coming from the machine up. To make it better your child is now doing an impression of it so you have to listen to it twice as much.
They look at you waiting, and apologise. The more you explain that ‘it’s fine’ and ‘there’s ‘no rush’ the more it sounds like your becoming sarcastic. When in fact I feel you and it genuinely IS FINE.
…And people think your being extra when you shout it from the rooftops that you went food shopping without your child!
— Shout out to the mum who inspired me to write this. You were having a bad day. It half made me scared for the day my child can walk and is an independent young women with her own ideas. But on the flip side it made me think, you just got to laugh and get on with it. Because every child has their moments.
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry with you. Every time you attempted to add something you’d scanned to your bag.You’d turn your back and instantly your child thought it was hilarious to jump on the bagging area to set of the red flashy light and the top of the till.
Just know that when i was smiling and reassuring you that ‘I didn’t mind’. I really didn’t. I was taking it all in and hoping to learn from your patience and ability to just crack on and take it in your stride.
Maybe this will reach you, maybe it won’t. But hats off to you mama. You done good.
Thanks for reading..Anna xx