Offically No Longer A New Mummy?!

So it’s been (ALMOST) a year since I became a mummy. Or to put it more accurately, since we became parents.

As scary as that is…
At 8pm on Thursday the 21st of February 2019, I plan to pop a bottle of a champagne with my partner in parenting and life, purely to congratulate ourselves. Because, HEY! We did it. Minimal arguments (Under 20 I’d say), lots of love and we kept ourselves and our mini me alive!

Baring all of this in mind. I bring to you…My main points of advice if you are becoming a first time mum or dad. (in some cases, dads, probably not the physical ones).

Now before I start, I am in no way qualified for this. Early Years, maybe. But that has got NOTHING on being 1:1 all day every day with your own sprog! So take these points with a pinch of salt, one size does NOT fit all in the parenting world. Well, in my opinion, not in any world, I bought a one size fits all bra the other day…NOPE!

Here we go…

  1. Brag about nothing. Your baby may be feeding/sleeping and generally being amazing. You say out loud…that child will hear you.
  2. Don’t get a false sense of security for your post baby body. I don’t mean the first 6 weeks after, because your body is not your body in those weeks. But after that, your hair is amazing, you’ve probably dropped a bit of baby weight. You feel INCREDIBLE. Then, you eat and you loose all your pregnancy hormones and everything, I mean everything goes to shit.
  3. Depending on the relationship you have, me and Dan have just found that we (probably more me) say whatever is on our minds out loud and if it’s offensive we just go with it for a minute then start from scratch and forget about it. Works well for us.
  4. A big one, don’t let the little gremlins win. It can suck, but if i start something with Immy. I cannot give in. Because she knows. Even if i give in once, it’s straight back to square one.
  5. Get used to crying every day. Not because your child is driving you insane, although this can be the case. But because your whole outlook changes. Things that were sad before become devastating. The emotions just take over.
  6. Your child will look fab every day. Even if they’re in their comfies. Because they will be clean with fresh clothes on. You on the other hand…8 times out of ten. Will look like crap. Clothes with snot, food and dribble all over them. Hair that hasn’t been washed and has the odd bogey in.
  7. Don’t get caught up in sharing jobs and making them ‘fair’. Because it’s pretty unrealistic. For instance, dan is rubbish at washing and dressing her, so I do that everyday. I, however, am AWFUL in the night. I can’t do it. (If Dan isn’t there for any reason, I do it. She doesn’t get left) but Dan is so good it. Patient, calming and comforting. Not me.
  8. Listen to no one. Unless you think it would actually work. We all share our experience and advice and it’s good to hear but it doesn’t mean you should do it. You can get caught up in feeling like your doing the wrong thing. Or that your baby should be doing something a certain way. Every way is the right way.
  9. Never go into parenthood expecting to nap when the baby naps. That is the biggest load of bullshit you will ever hear. On the odd occasion it may happen, but you will feel so much worse for it! But, for the most part, you will end up, feeding yourself, cleaning the house, doing washing etc. The list is never ending.
  10. Last but not least…as cliche as it may be. Take no moment for granted. Feel sad when you need to and moan when it feels necessary but deep down remember every second you can. Because it honestly does go so fast. I already long for a tiny Imogen, I am lucky to watch her grow and I enjoy every second but even though the days can feel long. The months are short.

So, if you are expecting your first child or hope to have one in the future. Don’t worry about any of the above. Go into parenthood with love, excitment and joy. You learn these things on the way.

If you are already a parent. I hope the ten listed points above made you laugh (or breathe heavily out of your nose like that meme says), or maybe just smile because you have realised it isn’t just you that feels that way.

On my most serious note, don’t worry about being the perfect parent. Because our children teach us, are patient with us and guide us. We’re not meant to be perfect, and neither are our children.

It shouldn’t be a secret that we all have days where we long for bedtime. I for one, was not a fan of the newborn days. I loved the bones of her, but man that shit is tough! We all have stages and moments where things can get to us. But the good days seriously outweigh those moments.

Thank for ready…Anna xx

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